This morning... i was remind, today is my birthday! wow! wonderful, not for the birthday, its for the reminder. Life s always evolving. In my younger days i was expecting this day to arrive. So that i can provide sweets, get new clothes, no one will scold me or beat me my teacher use to warn me "today, i wont beat you, since its your b'day", from morning to night gifts will come, wishes will come, smiles will be shown in front of my face, kisses will be given. Later my expectations became as painful moments. Since there will be no one to wish, no dresses, no sweets to give etc etc... all oppositely happened. I used to worry a lot about this situation. And i am a failure in my school days, no one will respect me, leave this respect, they wont even show love. I used to sit in the bathroom (presently thinking room) for minutes and pour my feelings as tears. She (sine tears is so beautiful as an angel) will mix with the water in the ground and flow off. With that my pain also flows.. I believe still. Even on birthday i got beatings from my teachers and will be an "out standing" student. When the teacher comes i have to go out! that's their rule. It happened, I use to be out of the class and have a ton of weight in heart. Coz they sent me out all days, that's okay no problem. But even on my birthday they sent me out. How ridiculous! cant bare. Since that was a tiny heart which expects love without a shout. If they let me in without a shout, i may have asked the doubt. This never happened in life. Birthdays become painful a lot. No wishes, no kisses, no gifts, no cares, no love. It was as empty as possible. Those days i will hear only pathos music in the background.
The age of love - changed things! was expecting her call first. She used to wish me early by 12 AM, and she use to show her possessiveness by saying "i have to wish u first so i did". Some days passed and i was unable to meet her requirements. Her expectations have to be like that, no problem at all. She has to expect some qualifications both officially and personally. She had a four year degree and a five figured salary. But me, was in a little guy who runs after clients and wanna make my company into a big corporate. This never happened so i was not that guy who met her requirements. She was my second lover who taught me about life. She said when she left "Dear, understand this! its life, it will be like this only. You have to accept it!". Recently she got married and flied abroad with her new husband who has a six figure salary and working in a big I.T. concern. I was thinking about the talks she made while leaving. That time i was angry with her and had a great pain. Now things changed. I told her itself. What you did was correct. Coz, i realized what life is, and i am a person in your family, so what you did is correct. Thanks!. I told this. She had little tears in her eyes, but she never let that out. May be an e-g-o probs. *Suddenly my mobile rang.. other side "hello dear, how are things?" a female voice...*
Now, this day has come again. They reminded me about today! my mom and dad they only did this. Then only i came to know that this was that day. It was the number again. And you all know that i am a nonbeliever of time, So i never cared about the age. When people ask i may tell them i am just the kid. That's true too, since being a baby will gain a lot of knowledge in life.Coz the baby is ready to learn always. See this life became so simple. I got as usual in the morning, read some words of my master and wrote this article and listening to songs. This is wonderful moment.
Why one need only one day to celebrate his birth? Since every moment is new, every second is new, this moment evolves into another moment and that evolved moment becomes this moment again. But people miss to admire these precious moments in life. They need only one day to celebrate and become aware about their age and themselves. Some may feel a lot about the achievements or work they didn't do. Why is this so? Life will become simple as possible. Since life is evovling. One will not even consider the birthday, since he may be running in a path to achieve something. But that again becomes a pressure. So i believe that every moment is to celebrate, rejoice, think, admire. So lets celebrate every moment, lets give the gift of love and care to others. We will get what we need.
This is just an observation in one's life "on changes", i am frank in this post about the changes. Life is changing always. When a particular knowledge comes, everything in life becomes so simple. Really so simple. For example "festivals" that too diwali, we might have run for the crackers once. But now we may sit and admire those fireworks or we may say to others "this is the other day in life, what is there to burst crackers, we are wasting out money". See! and we have fought for that rotten eraser which was took from us by our friend in class. This happened. But think! will we ever fight for that eraser or pen which we lend in bank(always there are ppl still who come without a pen to fill the form, they are everywhere. Wherever there is form there are ppl, who forget to bring pen). No not at all. Since life has become so simple!
Life is simple! Crazy life.. Admire.. Rejoice... Celebrate every moment!
"Become more and more innocent, less knowledgeable and more childlike. Take life as fun - because that's precisely what it is! " - ocean
* "the above posting contains real events and imaginary events too."
1 comment:
Very real words...
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